


Love and Marriage

by sinemoras09



Category: Blood+
Genre: Crack, Epic Bromance, Gen, unlikely friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-29
Updated: 2012-03-29
Packaged: 2017-11-02 15:59:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/370789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinemoras09/pseuds/sinemoras09
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Solomon and Haji try to get along. Crack. Gen. AU. Post-series.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and Marriage

Solomon survived.

It was instinct--Haji jumping out in front of him and catching the tip of Saya's sword.

"It would have killed me," Solomon said.

Haji kind of wished it would.

 

******

 

After the whole business with Amshel and the balcony, Solomon and Haji were stuck there for nearly a week.

"You are not the only one willing to sacrifice yourself, my friend!" Solomon had said, much to Haji's annoyance, because now _both_ of them were stuck there and Solomon wasn't very good company. Amshel's body crumbled and rotted and Haji strained, trying to move his chiropteran arm under the rubble.

"I can lift it," Solomon said. He glanced back at Haji, the banister of the balcony under his throat. "But I need to feed."

"What?" Haji said. 

"Can you change into a full chiropteran?" Solomon asked. Haji's eyes narrowed, refusing to dignify such a question with an answer. Solomon sniffed, knowingly.

"I thought not; my guess is that you're unwilling to feed. If you just pardon me," Solomon said, and he moved, _lurched forward_ , and chomped down on Haji's neck, hard.

When the balcony was flung over, Haji would have punched him. _Would have_ , except Solomon did have a point and Haji was too tired to transform, anyway.

Solomon whistled. It didn't do much for Haji's nerves.

 

*****

 

By the time they got back to Okinawa, Kai told them Saya was asleep. "She thought you guys were dead," Kai said.

They rushed to the tomb. In the moonlight, Saya's cocoon was beautiful. Beautiful and depressing, because it would be another thirty years before she'd be awake.

"I shall guard her tonight," Solomon said. He set his pack down and sat beside her.

"I as well," Haji said, and he sat directly in front of Solomon. 

"Oh boy," Kai said. They looked up at Kai and glared.

 

*****

 

During her other hibernations, Haji spent the years in private solitude. He traveled with his cello, wandering from place to place with only his music to assuage his isolation.

During this hibernation, however, there was no loneliness: only the vexing aggravation of another man following him like an irritating shadow.

"Haji-nii-san. You are relieved," Solomon said, and he set down his pack. Haji stared.

"It is not yet your turn," Haji said. "I still have a few more hours with Saya yet."

"More like minutes," Solomon said, and he sat down next to him.

They were guarding the crypt again. Kai had worked hard to come up with a fair sharing policy between the two of them, but somehow Solomon seemed to keep forgetting the arrangement. Haji's eyes narrowed.

This time, it was Haji who refused to leave. Dawn came and went and Haji sat stubbornly at the corner, polishing his cello. Solomon frowned.

"Haji-nii-san. This is hardly fair," Solomon said. "I only left but a few moments, and you've already taken up your perch with her."

"It is not my fault you need to feed," Haji said, lightly. And it was true: unlike Haji, who refused to feed on humans to gain his strength, Solomon periodically disappeared for days, hunting by nightfall and searching for blood. Solomon frowned. He sat down opposite Haji, sighing.

"How many years has it been, nii-san?" Solomon asked. "Almost a decade together and yet we still cannot get along. How do you think Saya would feel about that?"

Haji didn't answer. Solomon tutted and shook his head. "You are jealous, my friend," Solomon said. "As well you should be: I am stronger than you and I can give her children. Of the two of us, I am the superior mate." 

Solomon smiled, pleased with himself. He looked up at the ceiling of the cave and the darkened rocks above them. A certain generosity of spirit moved him, and Solomon allowed, "but you've spanned the centuries with her. Really, if we boil things down to it, she would most likely choose you. Which is unfortunate for me, but also undeniable."

Haji said nothing. He looked at Solomon with a strange, cat-like disaffection, and Solomon silently wondered how anyone so obtuse could earn anyone's love. He watched as Haji shifted, frowning.

"I only wish for Saya's happiness," Haji said, finally. He lifted his eyes, meeting Solomon's. "If that means she is to be with you, then I am fine with that, so long as you can make her happy."

"And I mean to tell you that I am also fine, should she choose you," Solomon said. "I too want nothing more for her than her happiness. You are not the only one acting selflessly, my friend."

"Then we are both fine," Haji said. 

"Indeed," Solomon said. Neither of them were fine. 

The day passed, and the sun slowly sank beyond their line of sight. Haji watched, hawk-like and quiet, as the sky darkened and the dim light of the cave shrank to nothing but shadows. 

It was Solomon who broke the silence, unaccustomed to this watchful waiting.

"This cannot possibly be how you spend your time," Solomon said. "How have you spent her other hibernations? When I was with Diva, we took turns guarding her, of course, but at the same time neither of us really _holed up_ as it were, like this. This seems rather harsh. Do you not agree?"

"You are free to leave at any time," Haji said. Solomon smirked.

"Of course not," Solomon said. "Why leave when I so greatly enjoy the company?"

Haji ignored him, busying himself with polishing his cello. Behind him, he could hear Solomon sitting up; there was a rustling of something, like crinkled paper, and before Haji could react Solomon had tossed something into Haji's lap.

Haji's eyes widened. "What--?"

"You haven't fed," Solomon said. "Kai said I should give you this."

Slowly, Haji unwrapped the package and saw two units of blood rubber-banded together. Haji cocked his head, confused. 

"It's blood," Solomon said, as if it weren't obvious. He sat back at his corner, suddenly bored. "Since you refuse to hunt humans, and are apparently above draining animals, we thought this the best solution. It isn't poisoned, if that's what you're thinking," Solomon said.

Haji turned the blood over in his hands. It smelled fresh. Haji looked up again at Solomon, nodding.

"Thank you," Haji said, and bit into the plastic.

"If it were me, I would have sipped it out of a chalice," Solomon said. Haji frowned.

 

*****

 

When Saya woke, the image above her was blurry. She squinted her eyes, trying to focus.

"Come, Saya," Haji said, and he offered her his claw. "You must feed."

"Yes, Saya," Solomon said, and he offered her his neck. "You must."

Saya just sat and stared.

 

******

 

"She's rejecting us," Solomon said. He looked at Haji, indignant. " _Both_ of us!"

"Saya chooses whom she will," Haji said. He looked up at Solomon, quietly. "So long as she is happy, I am satisfied."

"I don't believe that for one second," Solomon said. "And what in god's name was her justification? That she loves _both of us_? It is an evolutionary black box! If she loves both of us, then why not _sleep_ with both of us? Oh for god's sakes, don't look so scandalized," Solomon said. "You know you've thought it, too."

Haji said nothing. Over the course of the last few days, after Saya had wakened, there was a flurry of activity at the red shield base, and Solomon and Haji could not get near her. It wasn't until the third day that Haji and Solomon both confessed their love, and Saya blushed and stammered and said that she loved them both, she couldn't choose, and it wasn't fair to pick just one of them, nevermind that she was their queen and she could feast on both, should she desire. Solomon glared.

"Look at you, in perfect agony. Every bone in your body is protesting this," Solomon said. "Come. I shall order you a drink," Solomon said. 

"We do not drink," Haji said. Solomon rolled his eyes and grabbed Haji by the arm.

 

******

 

" _Drink_ ," Solomon said, as he pulled Haji into the club, strobe lights flashing and bodies writhing to the rhythm of an ear-shattering roar. "The blood of young, nubile _flesh_. This is hunting, my friend. Tonight, we shall get you _laid_."

" _What?_ " Haji said, but Solomon grinned and yanked him forward.

 

*****

 

Haji had never known misery such as this. Everything was loud and bright and young girls teetering on stiletto heels kept knocking their drinks into his coat; young men with less-than-noble intentions followed after them. Solomon, on the other hand, seemed to slip easily into this element, leaning intimately against a young girls neck and murmuring into her ear.

"She has a friend," Solomon said. Solomon grinned, then dipped low, sweeping the girl's head back. The girl giggled and stood. "You must forgive my friend his lack of manners. He is merely shy."

" _Aww_ ," the girl squealed, and rushed to touch Haji's chest.

Haji's eyes widened. He flinched, darting back and knocking into another man's drink.

"Hey!"

"I am leaving," Haji said. Desperately, as if surrounded by a thousand enemies waiting to strike. He picked up his cello (which made Solomon cringe, because why the _hell_ would Haji bring his cello in the middle of a club?) and headed for the door.

"This is ridiculous!" Solomon said, following after him. He burst through the back exit into the alley behind the club. "Haji-nii-san, you must trust me. This is the only way!"

"By betraying Saya's trust?" Haji said. His face was pinched. The pavement was damp, and steam rose from the gutters into the dark sky.

"Of _course_ not," Solomon said. Behind them, a man and a woman laughed and staggered in the distance. Solomon glanced back, then lowered his voice.

"Shall I call her?" Solomon said. "Shall I get her permission for you?"

Haji stared. 

"It's a _cell phone_ , Haji-nii-san, for god's sakes." Solomon dialed.

The phone rang. Haji could hear it from the speakers. "Hello?"

Saya's voice. Solomon gave him a pointed look and switched it to speaker phone. "Solomon?"

"Saya, my darling," Solomon said. "Haji and I are at a club. I am taking him to feed. Are you all right with that?"

Haji expected silence, perhaps some indication of shock, or regret, but Saya chirped, "Of course!" and then, "Tell Haji good luck!" after which Solomon raised his eyebrows and held out the phone.

"You're on speaker, love," Solomon said. "Perhaps you should tell him yourself."

Haji's throat was dry. "Saya?"

"Haji! I'm glad you're all right!" Saya sounded happy. There was laughter in the background. Kai and Mao's voices, most likely. "It's your first time at a club, right?"

"He...he wants me to feed on other women," Haji said, but Saya didn't seem to hear him. "Saya--"

"Hey I gotta go-- _Kai_ , knock it off, that tickles!--Haji I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"We'll be here," Solomon said, and the phone hung up. 

"Well?" Solomon said.

"She did not hear me," Haji said.

"She doesn't care," Solomon said. "Come. Feed with me. It will make you feel better."

 

******

 

They went to a bar this time, someplace quieter and less flashy. As always, Solomon seemed to slip easily into his surroundings. He spoke in a low voice to a woman who could have been a supermodel, his hand trailing easy touches on her elbow and the small of her back. The woman smiled, looking down. Solomon caught her gaze with bedroom eyes.

Haji, meanwhile, sat at the edge of the bar, at turns distressed and anxious. Solomon looked up from his women (now there were two of them flanking him, one of them on his lap and stroking a hand to his chest), and said, "Haji. What on earth are you doing?"

"I wish to go back to Saya," Haji said. Solomon sighed, then pressed a soft kiss against the woman's neck.

"Just a moment, love," Solomon murmured. The woman blushed and climbed off his lap. "You are a man, Haji-nii-san, but more importantly you are a chevalier," Solomon said. "Unbeknownst to you, we are magnetically, irrevocably, attractive to the opposite sex. Personality and the like aside."

"I do not wish to harm them," Haji said. Solomon rolled his eyes.

"No one is harming anyone," Solomon said. "We will feed, and the wounds will close up and no one will be the wiser. Think of it," Solomon said. "Warm, pulsating, human blood. There is no greater pleasure than feeding in the arms of a beautiful woman. We are gods among men, you and I," Solomon said. "We might as well enjoy it."

 

******

 

Haji did not enjoy it. 

"He's _creepy_ ," one of the women said. She glanced back at Haji, making a face. "He just keeps _staring_ and he doesn't even blink!"

"Pervert," the other woman said. Solomon sighed, tragically.

"Do not tell me this is how you woo a woman," Solomon said. He looked up at Haji, taking a second glance. 

"I've forgotten," Solomon said. "You're a virgin, aren't you?"

Yet another question that Haji refused to dignify. Solomon's eyes widened.

"That's right! You grew up with Saya," Solomon said. "Now I understand why you're so fixated! A wonder it hasn't occurred to me before..."

" _Solomon_ ," Haji said. His self-restraint was growing thin. Solomon smiled, knowingly.

"I've come to think of you as a brother, you know." Solomon stirred his drink, carefully. "Let me try to help you."

 

******

 

The next morning, Saya woke to find three models staggering out of Solomon's room, bleary-eyed and disheveled hair, while Haji just looked...well for lack of a better word, _distressed_.

"So?" Saya said, and she slid next to Haji, pouring herself a bowl of cereal and joining him on the couch. "Did you feed?"

"I did not," Haji said. There was a sound, a woman shrieking with laughter.

Another model staggered out of Solomon's room. Haji looked distraught.

Saya giggled, leaning against Haji's shoulder.

"It's just as well," Saya said, and she stretched out on Haji's lap, pressing a chaste kiss on his cheek before resting her head on his shoulder.


End file.
